Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
