Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
