The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
