She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
