ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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