Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
