i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
