all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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