so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
