Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
