i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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