i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
