Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My balls are so social today.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
