How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
