Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
