i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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