I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think I just sharted jello shots
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
