Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
