summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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