everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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