We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
