How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
