I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
