It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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