So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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