you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
