Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize