"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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