Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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