I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
