When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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