After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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