I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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