sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
