I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
