There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
