He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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