you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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