I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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