I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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