its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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