Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you told grandpa to call you daddy
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They have beer where we have blood.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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