if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
