I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
