Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
