When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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