I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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