but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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