That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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