If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
