This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You are the jesus of drinking
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
