Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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