She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
