Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
