Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
