she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
