his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
