yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
