I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
nutella sex= disaster
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
