dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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