That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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