Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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