thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
try to milk me bitch
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