Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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