I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
