only if we run a train.
done.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
