Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
meet me or not, i'm out of control
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
