Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
