so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
