It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
