just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
