I'm really into asian looking animals
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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