I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
