Cold hands, warm shart.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
