The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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