I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just want to make out with him forever
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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