i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
