Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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