Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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