she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
