but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
